t e s t i m o n i e s . o f . k e l s .

I've done things that separated me from God, I've followed promptings and ended up shattered (literally, emotionally & figuratively), I've been angry with God, I've pleaded with Him to show me He cared and got no answer. I've always received answers from my Heavenly Father, and the one time, I really needed to feel loved I came up empty-handed. I came to the conclusion that maybe I wasn't very important to Him and I pushed God out of my life. -- classic "Kelsey" coping mechanism. I never doubted that he was there but I doubted he was there for me. Since then, I've felt the adversary breathing down my neck felt unworthy to attend church, unworthy to feel His peace, and like I had to figure out all my problems before I mended my relationship with God. The last several months, I decided I needed to start somewhere and started praying again, reading my scriptures and I set a goal that I wanted to go back to church and I wanted to go in person.  Thi

Have you ever been so afraid of something that your natural instinct is to run as fast as you possibly can in the other direction? Once your life becomes centered around running the fear starts to define you. It is in every thought, and every feeling you have. You become so equipped to the mask you wear, as you try to save yourself from your greatest fear -- along with saving others from the effects. Running becomes who you are and everything that you do.Yet the struggle to hide from that fear becomes more intense as the days go on. The mask that you have painted on so perfectly begins to fade. Some may say that the mask you paint on everyday is proof that you're fake; thus throwing genuine out the door without a second thought. When in reality that "mask" is showing who you really are and who you really want to be, but it is just trying hiding all of the flaws and imperfections as well as amplify the good. For me personally, the reason I put the mask on everyday is b

I absolutely love that "ah ha" moment when you seem to find another piece of the puzzle that fits perfectly into the Gospel Plan. I love it even more when those pieces come in your darkest of days and you realize how incredibly perfect not only His plan is, but how incredibly perfect He  is. I had one of those moments today. I was reading in Alma 32 -- which is an incredible chapter as a whole -- but the last verse was my silver lining. Alma is pleading with the Lord to give him, the son's of Mosiah and his sons strength and in the last verse it reads, "And the Lord provided for them that they should hunger not neither should they thirst; yea, and he also gave them strength, that they should suffer no manner of afflictions, save it were swallowed up in the joy of Christ. Now this was according to the prayers of Alma; and this because he prayed in faith." For some reason the word provided  came with such strength to my mind and I began to think of the pri

When a missionary hits their last 6 weeks on their mission they start something that is called "My Plan". They set goals for what they are going to do when they go home to continue to grow closer to their Savior Jesus Christ, and not lose the spirit and their testimony that the have worked so hard for over the last 18 - 24 months. One of the goals it has you set is your temple attendance. They don't tell you how often you have to go but they want you to set a goal that is reachable and will still help you draw upon the strength that comes when we go to the temple. I felt prompted to set a goal to go every week at least once. I can't begin to express the strength that I have felt as I have done so. I've been home now for a little over 6 months and I haven't missed a week. There has been times where I was out of town and there was no temple in sight so I attended 2 times to make up for the week that I wasn't physically able to get to the temple.  It get

In Mosiah 4:6-7 it talks about trusting in the Lord and what happens when we do. I thought about this and thought about how hard it is for me to trust. I don't know what it is but somewhere along the line I went from trusting anyone and everyone to trusting only a select few - and most of those included those people that I actually don't know personally. Haha. yeah, sounds pretty pathetic right? Well as I was reading about trusting in the Lord I realized why I had such a hard time truly trusting a lot of people and I believe and I know that I did trust fully at one point but that trust started to diminish once that person would do something to break my trust. It hit me as I was realizing this our perfect our Father in Heaven really is! He would never do anything to break our trust. Yeah, sometimes we are given hard trials and some people can take that as our Father breaking our trust, but look back on all the times that you really trusted him. When he asked you to sacrifice s

Okay, I had THE most incredible experience reading my scriptures tonight. I was reading in Jarom, which actually is becoming one of my favorite books, and I only made it 2 verses in until I had something hit me over the head. Jarom is writing and it reads, "It must needs be that I write a little;... for have not they revealed the plan of salvation? Yeah, I say unto you this sufficeth me." (Jarom 1:2). So in essence he says "ya know, I don't really know what to write. The Plan of Salvation has already been written and what else is there to say?" I starting thinking in that instance "why is that enough for him? What does the Plan of Salvation teach us that we need so desperately today?" Oh, I can't even begin with all of the revelation that hit me. I starting making a list of the very most important simple truths that come from the Plan; such as... 1. We learn our relationship to God is not merely as his creations but rather we are literally Hi